Conquering Imposter Syndrome
Do you feel like a fraud in danger of being exposed? Do you sabotage your own success or live in fear you won’t live up to other’s expectations. If so, you may be experiencing Imposter syndrome.
That’s the term psychologists invented in the 1970s when they were studying successful women.
In fact, an estimated 70% of adults experience the symptoms at least occasionally. In my business coaching class last fall, when my coach James Wedmore asked who felt like an imposter, almost 100% of the 400 entrepreneurs raised their hand. Many of the entrepreneurs in the class were wildly successful with 6 and 7 figure businesses. So if you’re feeling this way you are not alone!
Impostor syndrome may be caused by a variety of factors. I felt it when I was asked to be a speaker at a medical conference with over 700 guests. When I walked into the room and saw the stage and the two big screens which would cast my presentation throughout the room I immediately doubted that I was qualified to be here speaking to scientists, researchers, and physicians.
I had to rein in my doubt, refocus on my skills and remember they hired me because they believed I could do the job. I had to believe in myself or I was never going to get on the stage.
Whatever the reasons you are feeling like an imposter, you can stop undermining yourself. When you learn to experience doubts without letting them interfere with the happiness and success you deserve you will be on your way to living your best life. By changing your thinking and your behavior you can say good-bye to imposter syndrome and hello dreams!
Here is how you can shift feeling like an imposter.
Change Your Thinking:
- Remember your achievements. Review your track record. Putting your victories in context will show you that they’re not flukes.
- Give yourself credit. Change your self-talk. When you catch yourself becoming critical, congratulate yourself, instead. Reframing your thoughts will help you to view yourself in a more positive light.
- Accept uncertainty. Impostor syndrome is often associated with perfectionism. Embrace yourself unconditionally, including your strengths and weaknesses. Set realistic goals and expectations.
- Validate yourself. Live up to your own standards rather than relying on approval from others. Be mindful of your thoughts and feelings so you can manage them effectively.
- Appreciate effort. Do you regard struggling as a sign of weakness? In reality, success often requires careful planning and hard work.
Change Your Behaviour:
- Talk it over. Impostor syndrome can be a difficult cycle to break because your first impulse is to cover it up. On the other hand, revealing your insecurities will help you to put them in perspective.
- Build support. Ask family and friends for help. Having the courage to be vulnerable will boost your confidence and strengthen your relationships.
- Fight stereotypes. Feeling like an outsider can contribute to impostor syndrome. For example, maybe you’re much older or younger than your co-workers. Look for ways to turn that diversity into an advantage instead of feeling awkward about being different.
- Be spontaneous. You may be putting unnecessary pressure on yourself if you frequently over-prepare for various events. Throw a party with takeout pizza instead of spending an entire day in the kitchen.
- Accept compliments. Can you receive praise graciously or do you secretly want to run and hide? Practice saying thank you sincerely. You’ll create a more pleasant experience for yourself and your admirers.
- Find a coach or mentor. Changing long-standing habits can be tough work. Working with a coach or mentor will give you the benefit of ongoing feedback from someone you trust. You may also feel more accountable knowing that someone else is monitoring your progress, too.
- Teach others. Recognizing your areas of expertise can be tricky when knowledge and skills build up slowly over time. Instructing others is an excellent way to learn more about yourself while providing a valuable service.
- Stay relaxed. Challenging situations are likely to trigger any defense mechanism. You’ll find it easier to be authentic if you manage daily stress. Block out time for meditation and physical exercise. Slow down and take a deep breath if you find yourself starting to question your worth.
- Take risks. Impostor syndrome can hold you back from trying new things. Make a list of projects that excite you and take pleasure in learning as you go along.
Building your confidence and sense of belonging takes time. Overcoming imposter syndrome will help you to feel more comfortable with yourself and build the confidence you need to go after your dreams!
If you need extra support, come join me on July 6th in my new course – The Bravest You: A 4-Week Course to release self-doubt, ignite your confidence, and (finally) go after your dreams. The 4-week online program is incredibly affordable and I have scholarships if finances are a block to freedom.